know you're a Mastiff owner when...
You tell your dog to
sit and he backs up until he finds a chair.
It takes 3 people to
get your dog on the scale at the vets.
You walk your dog and
everyone knows him by name,
but you have no idea who these people are.
Your vehicle changes
each time you add another mastiff to the family.
You keep at least one
color coordinated "drool towel" in every
room of your house.
After banishing your
husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps you
(But now it's okay)
You take your dog for
a ride and he rests his head on your arm,
causing you to make only right turns.
You have given up on
water bowls and you just use the bathtub.
You avoid the dogs on
your way out the door, so they won't smear your makeup.
The monthly dog budget
exceeds your home mortgage payment.
You have had to train
your dog not to lick the dishes, and the dishes are in
Your dog can see when
you are cooking and he tries to assist you in the
You purchase a large
screen TV and can still only see half of it.
When someone knocks at
the front door and a mastiff head pops through the
screen to see who's there.
Visitors get up to get